Children and Divorce
“Leaving You For The Last Time” by Scooter Lowrimore is licensed under CC BY 2.0
A divorce is a challenging and highly stressful experience not only for parents but for whole members of the family. It can be especially hard for children because they are experiencing a massive change in their family dynamic. Many negative emotions are involved, and to children, it can seem as if their whole world has turned upside down.
So, in what ways can divorce affect a child’s behavior? Let’s take a look.
The impact of divorce on a child’s behavior
Here are some most commonly seen effects divorce can have on children and how it may follow into adult years.
- Children may experience difficulty adapting to change so that they may show frequent and intense anger. These feelings of anger can arise from a loss of control and abandonment.
- Your child might socially withdraw and become shy and anxious. They may show no interest in hanging out with friends or engaging in other social situations.
- Children going through a divorce might suffer a loss of interest in academics, too, and teens are associated with a higher dropout rate.
- They feel separation anxiety and may show increased crying or clinginess and ask parents when they are not around.
- A considerable change can be seen in their eating and sleeping patterns.
- They may feel uncomfortable being in the middle and pick sides, and this loyalty conflict can worsen as they get older to a point where they may completely break contact with one of the parents.
- The child might have a higher likeliness to engage in destructive behavior such as robbery, abuse, or addictions later in life.
- A divorce can change the way a child sees relationships in general, and there is a strong chance that if their negative feelings about separation are not resolved, they may end up in the same situation as adults. They can lose faith in family and marriage, and this can follow them even later in life, where they show less enthusiasm in commitment and long-term relationships.
- Depression is a common symptom among children that experience separation from parents. They may even develop clinical depression or may even attempt self-harm or suicide.
Signs that your child may need therapy after divorce
- If they show regression, such as bedwetting or sucking their thumbs even if it’s inappropriate for their age for more than a couple of weeks.
- If they have increased and destructive aggression or depression and it is becoming difficult for them to properly function in their lives.
- If they experience separation anxiety such as extreme clinginess or crying.
How to help your child get through a divorce
- Acknowledge their feelings and understand it is a really stressful time for them. Show them that you know and do not dismiss their feelings.
- Encourage your open up and listen to them. Let them be totally honest. Tell them it is okay to feel frustration, anxiety, and loss. Even if things seem really hard right now, they will get better with time.
- Explain why the divorce had to happen and make sure they understand that they had nothing to do with the divorce. Make sure they do not have any misconceptions about this.
- They may be comfortable with it one day and burst into emotions the other. Be patient and understand it will take time to adjust and keep supporting and listening to them completely.
- Tell them that even if the physical dynamics of the family have changed, both the parents will be there for them and reassure them that you will love and care for them no matter if you are together or not.
Going through a divorce is a messy experience, and it might take some time for both parents and family to adjust. But keeping communication open and honest and providing reassurance where possible will make it easier for children to traverse through this significant change in their lives.
If you think your child needs to see a counselor or therapist set up an appointment with us today.
“Divorce” by marchatot is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0
