Emotional Neglect
“Neglected Ice Cream Cone” by Kevin Cabral is licensed under CC BY 2.0
Childhood plays a significant role in shaping the overall personality of a person. When the phrase ‘bad childhood’ comes up, we often think of shouting, physical violence, sexual abuse, lack of resources or absence of parents, etc. In some cases, children may not experience any taunting, shouting, or physical abuse— everything seems just right with their upbringing. But the problems they face later in life make it clear that the wounds they carried were psychological, and one big reason is emotional neglect.
What is emotional neglect
Emotional neglect means the inability of parents and caregivers to respond to a child’s emotional needs. Unlike abuse, it is not intended to hurt the child. Instead, it is an intentional disregard or failure to tend to a child’s emotional needs.
For example, a child might tell their parents that they are feeling sad about something. Instead of parents offering a listening ear and helping them cope, they might just brush it off and tell the child to ignore it as well.
What are the consequences of emotional neglect?
If the emotional needs of a child are neglected long enough, they start to internalize that their emotional needs are not that important. So, they start pushing their worrisome emotions inside and stop asking for help.
The child may start thinking that there is something wrong with them for having such emotions. In the short term, this can lead to confidence issues, overwhelm, panic, and feelings of profound loneliness, and the inability to ask for help.
The accumulation of these problems can lead to bigger issues and even disorders in the long run. These include depression, anxiety, apathy, aggression, low self-esteem, developmental delays, substance abuse, withdrawal from friends or family, inability to understand other people’s emotions, shunning intimacy, and a failure to thrive.
What are the signs that a child is emotionally neglected
- They are excessively withdrawn, anxious, fearful, and afraid that they will do something wrong.
- They are easily overwhelmed or discouraged.
- They lack clarity about others’ expectations.
- They show extremes in behaviors such as being extremely compliant or demanding.
- They might show passive-aggressiveness.
- They have untreated illnesses and physical injuries.
- They have hygiene problems such as wearing dirty clothes or not brushing etc.
- They act too adult-like such as taking all responsibilities themselves and even taking responsibility for other children.
- Or They may act infertile for their age, such as sucking thumbs or throwing tantrums.
How to help a child if they are experiencing emotional neglect
Effective parenting can go a long way in ensuring your child does not become a victim of emotional neglect. Other than focusing on the child, parents and caregivers have to re-evaluate their own behaviors.
The following tips can ensure your child gets proper attention:
- Be a nurturing parent and let your child know that they are loved regardless of what they feel.
- Be an active parent and tell your children that they can share whatever they want to with you without any fear.
- Tell your children that it’s okay to feel sad or not ok at times and encourage them to talk about their feelings often.
- Express your own emotions and don’t judge. Be sensitive and attuned to your child’s feelings.
- Invite your children to spend time with you so they know that they can trust you and talk to you whenever they feel like something.
“Child abuse and neglect” by GovdocsGwen is marked with CC PDM 1.0
Other than proper care, seeking family therapy and attending parenting classes can help caregivers learn the necessary skills required to recognize, listen and help their child with their emotional needs. If you feel you can benefit from therapy or counseling get ahold of one of our counselors today.
“Neglected Pooh 2” by thombo2 is licensed under CC BY 2.0
